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Copy-editing
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“The source of bad writing is the desire to be more than a person of sense—to be thought a genius. If people would only say what they have to say in plain terms, how much more eloquent they would be.”
                    ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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The Copy Editor’s job is to make corrections and suggestions for improvements in a manuscript. She is concerned with correcting textual content, including: literals (typos); grammatical, spelling, punctuation errors; redundant words; phrasing; excessive use of passive voice, jargon, colloquialisms and cliches; consistency in word use, factual data, style and structure; potential issues of libel, breach of copyright and plagiarism.

Copy-editing example #1: simplifying language
Before:
This kind of study should be formal and direct, involving thorough analysis of all pertinent factors and presentation of a wide range of specific alternatives such that each individual Stuart Kremlin board member merely has to choose from a wide array of facts which by their mere presence instills confidence and assurance that SK children are getting the best secondary education program that is available.
After:
This kind of study should be formal and direct, examining all related factors and presenting a wide range of choices. Stuart Kremlin board members will then have confidence that SK children are getting the best secondary education program available.

Copy-editing example #2: passive vs. active voice
Compare:
When the red light goes on, the instrument should be shut down, and all settings should be checked. It should be turned on again only when it is confirmed that all pressures are within tolerances.
With:
When the red light goes on, the operator should shut the instrument down, and the supervisor should check all settings. The lab assistant should turn it on again only when the research manager confirms that all pressures are within tolerances.

Copy-editing example #3: creating a warm, personal style (newsletter)
Compare:
Candice addressed the June staff meeting of the Creative Arts Division to explain the new system. Attendees were duly impressed with the multitudinous tasks involved in the accumulation of relevant, pertinent recording data and the methodology by which these tasks are implemented by the DFH staff.
With:
Candice explained the new system at the Creative Arts Division’s June staff meeting. All of us who attended were impressed by the amount of work involved in collecting recording data, and by the methods the DFH staff uses to collect it.

Copy-editing example #4: improving flow and sophistication

Compare:
We like this company’s work. The wooden forms needed for pouring concrete are always accurate. And delivery is usually on time. They have been late only once since we started using them. That was during the railroad strike last year. Unfortunately, their price for this job is too high.
With:
We like this company’s work. The wooden forms needed for pouring concrete are always accurate, and delivery is usually on time. They have been late only once since we started using them, but that was during the railroad strike. Unfortunately, their price for this job is too high.

Copy-editing example #5: changing/simplifying style
Compare:
Academic Language: In response to the conflict over whether the relationship of the four elements of communication – audience, writer, subject, and message – as Kueger and Stein hypothesize, or the purpose, as Campbell theorizes, determines the form of discourse, GWU/CCP contends that the question is analogous to the chicken and the egg and holds that both positions are of equal value.
With:
Plain English: Researchers disagree whether language or purpose determines form in writing. Krueger and Stein believe language usage depends on the four elements of communication: audience, writer, subject and message. Campbell teaches that purpose is the main influence. GWU/CCP thinks both are of equal value and that trying to decide which is more important is like asking which came first, the chicken or the egg.
(Which is easier to read and understand?)
Five Principles of Clear Writing:
  1. Prefer clear, familiar words;
  2. Keep most sentences short and simple (15-20 words per sentence);
  3. Prefer active voice verbs; avoid passives;
  4. Use conversational style as a guide;
  5. Revise, Revise, and Revise again!
                   ~  from Albert Joseph's Put It In Writing
© 2018 Joan Oakland